The reason for repeated failed coneption might be increased prolactin production

Prolactin is a hormone that control many chemical processes in body. The most important and key process is the lactation initiation. Another not less important is during the strong mother – child bond creation which failure can cause possible mother absence for a little child. 

In normal life prolactin doesn’t play such an important role. It production is major during night time mainly in REM sleep stage. During daytime it is mainly used during the psychical balance disturbance and coming stress situation. It means that its main purpose is to get the organism ready to cope with an upcoming stress situation. The place of its origin is the hypophysis in brain.

Hyperprolactemy – it is an increased prolactin level contained in blood. This increased production mostly causes menstrual cycle disturbances where usually goes completely away. This is caused by the prolactin’s effect that blocks eggs grow process (This is a main cause in the 10% of the cases).

Precautions in hyperprolactemy

If the woman fails to conceive it is necessary to perform some examinations before the treatment process itself. These examinations include blood tests. Blood test for the prolactin level should be performed during morning time approximately 2 hours after the wake up when the physiological prolactin level is still low and does not distort results. If the high prolactin level is confirmed the treatment follows. The treatment is usually in form of pills that lower the prolactin level.

For some women it is possible to determine clear cause of the trouble. This cause is usually non-benign cancer of the hypophysis in brain. If the tumor is smaller than 10cm (3.9inch) it is the microprolactinom. Tumor bigger than 10mm (3.9inch) is called macroprolactinom. In this case the pharmacological treatment is used as well. This treatment not only leads to lowering the level of created prolactin but also the total amount of prolactin in the body. In more rare cases, where the pharmacological treatment is not successful is possible to use radiotherapy using Laksell´s gamma knife.

How to recognize higher production of prolactin? (Hyperprolactemy)

·         Menstrual disorders (total disappearance of menstrual cycle)

·         Problems in conceiving

·         Sensitivity and pain in the breast area

·         Secretion from one or both breast

How to recognize lower production of prolactin? (Hypoprolactemy)

·         Usually not even recognized

·         Troubles with the beginning of lactation (or no lactation at all)

Because prolactin is a stress hormone, it is true that the more woman is stressed out the more prolactin level increases and with longer periods of these episodes the issue can become chronic. That’s why the best prevention for the infertility caused by any reason is the calm and well balanced environment.

Another reason for infertility might be endometriosis

Endometriosis is the common reason for the women infertility. It is a chronic disease characteristic for its endometrium outside of the vaginal area. It is quite a common disease that affects approximately 5-10% of women population in reproductive age. Up to 70% is recidivist.

Endometriosis symptoms:

·         Irregular painful menstruation

·         Pain during sexual intercourse (can lead to its refusal)

·         Chronic pain of stomach

·         Fertility issues

Endometriosis and infertility

One of the complications of endometriosis is the lowered throughput of fallopian tubes and lower production of ovulocytes in ovaries that can lead to the total infertility. Endometriosis occurs in 7-10% of women in their reproductive age.  Incidence for women that are already treated for infertility is 6-8 times higher.

Endometriosis treatment

Endometriosis is hormonally dependent illness and so the primary treatment should always be hormonal. If needed the solution is always to undergo a surgical treatment or use analgesics treatment that should be just a supplementary treatment for hormonal treatment.  

Main target for the hormonal treatment is to temporarily cancel menstruation and thanks to that suppress the endometrium growth outside of the vaginal area. This will lower and eventually kill the core cells of the endometrium outside of the vaginal area. If this procedure is successful the woman health state will rapidly improve.

At present day there is no way to completely cure endometriosis. According to recent statement of American Society for Reproductive Medicine endometriosis should be assessed as chronic illness, requiring all life therapeutical plans having in mind maximum use of pharmacological means and limited repetition of surgical procedures.

The most common reasons for infertility:

·         Disturbances in menstrual cycles, with amenorrhea – when woman will stop menstruating in the time of her menstrual cycle

·         Syndrome of polycystic ovaries – excessed number of little follicles is produces in ovaries, that are not able to fully grow thanks to the hormonal misbalance

·         Hyperandrogenal syndrome – increased level of man hormone

·         Post pill amenorrhea – long time use of hormonal protection that can lead to the loss of menstruation

·         Women that are extremely thin or with excessive overweight or physical load (professional sportswomen)

Ovarian function failure

Ovarian failure is an ovarian function failure for women before their forties.

The lowered function of the ovaries tissue can be caused by the repeated ovarian operation (when removing cysts from ovaries endometriosis)

Morphologically conditioned infertility

This type of infertility is usually connected with the lowered throughput of the fallopian tubes. These are usually caused by gynecological inflammations (adnextidis), after repeated stomach operations and also for other than gynecological reasons (for example Crohn disease). Morphologically conditioned infertility can start from endometriosis.

Congenital infertility

Is usually caused by Turner´ syndrome, where the woman is missing one genital chromosome X, which causes that ovaries are not fully evolved and can´t fulfill their natural function.

Immunological infertility

Immune system of some women creates antibodies against the man´s sperm or against own ovaries. These antibodies are the main reason for infertility.

Drugs effect

Problems with conception can be also caused by some drugs. For example “The syndrome of uncracked follicle” where the egg is not released from the mature follicle. This might be caused by some painkillers (inhibitors of prostaglandin synthesis).

Name influence

Names were created for the reason to name call and individualize and distinct from the others. It used to be common that the individual was given a name once he was able to show his abilities and skills and his name was very close and related to him and his abilities.

These days the attitude is different the name is given usually right after birth and is decided some time before the birth. This name thus carries the wishes and presumptions to strengthen and support something with this name. It thus carries parent’s wishes and does not specify the one’s skills and abilities.

Name itself caries certain energy and potential. With the constant repetition of the same vowels and same sounds with the same vibrations when speaking out our name we get used to these sounds and we embrace it as our own. Repeated sound when saying our name or signing ourselves has a great influence on us. Selected name has also an influence on baby’s psychological and health state and so it is very important to select it carefully and patiently. It expresses its personal characteristics and uniqueness that accompanies him every day. It is also important to carefully combine the first name with the surname either our maiden name our new name after our partner. So with this decision we are partly creating ours children future and it very good to realize it, before we make a final call.

It is definitely not a great decision to pick the name by some movie star, politician or band player. As well as it is not recommended to keep the name between generations, of course there is an exception for this rule if we love the name and we are sure it is the one for our child.

It is usual that parents tend to give the name that is kept in the family for generations and later are sad that they weren’t strong enough and didn’t pick up differently because the baby is as angry and aggressive as it’s grandpa used to be and it doesn’t make sense that such a young baby is so aggressive.

Because we didn’t thought the name selection through and the child’s satisfaction with this selection we could cause all of this anger ourselves. Let’s wish to have happy and healthy children, to look forward to them. We want to give them the best. We begin with the effort to give him the right name, the call that it will carry for the rest of the life.

Mother that carries the child under its heart can intuitively feel what name would be appropriate or what name the child had picked up already.
Since the third month of pregnancy it is not just an embryo but it is a living creature with own destiny and universe past that demands to have the right name for its future related to its personality. Unique vibrations imprint’s child’s name into mother’s mind and it is important she will listen to the child and not to grandparents, friends or other outside influences in that matter.

The best is when the mother has a feeling that the baby picked up on its own and is satisfied with it. It is best to give the baby three names because person as a human being consists from three parts – body, soul and intellect. The first name connected to the body part should become commonly used main name.

It is very appropriate to look at each name complexity because every name has its colour, its resonance, characteristics and it is not recommended to give to a nervous and impatient child the name that would only support such personality.

And the baby will not like this name as it would support something it has already in a strong form and then will attach to its surname that would pass on him the ancestral issues.

Nomenology doesn’t distinct good or bad names but distincts “strong” and “weak” names where the strong name does not need to be appropriate and beneficial for its owner. Strong names are the names that have strong nomenological potential and energy. Weak names are names that doesn’t give or require much, they don’t carry any message but defines a certain fact. Strong name offers a lot but also requires from its owner quite a lot. It is a great task for him to carry such name and it is not everybody would keep up with such a task.  If the name doesn’t naturally resonates with its owner and the owner doesn’t have enough of the inside potential the balance is disturbed and the energy turns against it owner.

Sometimes the dissatisfaction with the name leads to the replacement with another one which is quite dangerous because the change of the name carries the beginning of another life. The previuous name stays in the past. Sometimes the decision to such step brings many benefits and makes a hope for a better life.

Breast pump

Great modern helper for many mum's around the world

Not every woman is that lucky to have her lactation as expected. For mum's who doesn't have enough of the milk the breast pump is a great help that stimulates the breast properly and helps the milk production.

The market offers several breast pump types, electric or mechanic. It is a great helper that comes in handy in the times of little because it helps to stimulate and create more milk and in the times of more where it helps to put the milk into bottles to freeze the extra milk for later use.  

Breast pump types

Pump type	Description	Image
Mechanical pump	Mechanical pump is recommended for mothers with normal lactation but needs time to time relax their breast before breastfeeding or after.
Mechanical balloon type
Mechanical leveler pump
Electrical mini pump	Mini electrical pump is recommended for breastfeeding mothers with big lactation but has so much milk that they need to squirt it out and relax the breast.
Electrical hospital pump	Hospital electrical pump is recommended for non-breastfeeding mothers but daily squirt a full dose of milk.
One phase pump	One phase milk extraction system introduces save and careful milk extraction for mothers who’s lactation is without a problem. All one phase pumps have vacuum regulation and ensure comfortable milk extraction.
Two phase pump	Two phase milk extraction system (ES) nearly fully resembles baby sucking rhythm, first stimulation phase and second lactation phase. Two phase milk ES is very careful to the breast. It is recommended for mothers that needs to start the lactation after birth so the baby can get the mother's milk as soon as possible after birth. This pump is also suitable for mothers who can't for any reason breastfeed after birth. It was tested and proven that these mothers had their own milk after 30 hours of using the two phase pump.

When to extract, when to squirt?

•   It is necessary to use the pump for premature baby that is not able to suck from the breast. An ideal type of pump to do this job is the big electrical hospital breast pump, that can perfectly simulate child's sucking reflex. It is possible to continue with smaller electrical home pumps after the lactation had started. The extraction should be regular. During the day in 2-3 hours intervals, in the night 2x, every breast 10-15minutes. If the baby was born very early or has some health issues the milk extraction can be a matter of many weeks or months. But it is definitely worth It because especially prematurely born babies needs mother's milk from their own mother, which consistency adapts to the needs of the baby.
• If it is necessary to stop the breastfeeding for some urgent reasons. For example mother's or baby's health issues. It is possible to keep the milk extraction. Milk should be still extracted in the same time intervals, as the baby was fed before and should be given to the baby in an alternative way (spoon, syringe,... ).
• Planned separation – can be for couple of hours or days or even can be regular when the mum is partially employed or study. Or if she needs go to the planned operation. It is advisable to prepare the milk for these occasions. In the time when the baby is not fed it is necessary to squirt the milk every 3-4 hours (this applies for fully fed babies, older babies that has partial solid food don't require it so often) to prevent the milk from solidification.
• Even for babies that don't corporate during breastfeeding it is possible to keep all the breastfeeding benefits. The baby is fed from the bottle. Woman can keep the lactation for a very long time, more then a year by using electrical pump (Ideal is both breast pump). Breast milk extraction frequency and interval is controlled by the woman herself. Some women collect the milk for their baby during for extractions other needs twice the amount.
• It is highly recommended to relax the breast with a milk excess, that can result in retention or breast inflammation. If even after the feeding there are solid places in the breast it is necessary to release the pressure from these places and squirt the milk out (by pump or hand). If the woman will squirt the milk every day less and less then the lactation will adapt to the child's needs.

• If the milk squirts out during first weeks very strongly and the baby is choking on it, it is recommended to squirt a bit of a milk out and that will cause the milk flow to slow down. Also when the breast are to full with the milk it is hard for the baby to catch the breast. It is recommended to massage areola and squirt the milk out.

Appropriate time to extract the milk is after the breastfeeding or in the longer pauses between breastfeeding.

There are number of breast pumps on the market these days. It depends on the need and use but generally I would recommend the brands Avent, NUK and Maleda. Good luck with or without the pump and a lot of full and happy babies.

Faithfully yours Nanny B.

Breastfeeding twins

It is definitely not an easy task, but it is feasible and worth it.

Benefits for your babies:

1. Breast milk protects your children against infection. Milk produced right after birth is full of vital proteins and antibodies that helps the child to grow up properly and healthy. These proteins and antibodies also protect your child against intestinal and other after birth imminent infections and lower the risk of the allergic reaction,
2. breast milk is a very important part of the baby nutrition until the age of 2,
3. breast milk is especially suitable for extremely small or premature babies, which are more vulnerable to diseases and have more trouble digesting artificial dry milk. Quite a lot of twins sadly falls under this category,
4. breastfeeding creates strong and nice bond between mother and her children

Benefits for you (mums):

1. Breastfeeding helps you to feel better and more happy because of Prolactin hormone, which is one of the hormones being produced while feeding that has calming and relaxing effects – which is especially valuable for twins mum,
2. breastfeeding is emotionally rewarding. Mothers knows that they do the best they can for their children and that they literally give the best out of themselves,
3. in compare with artificial feeding breastfeeding is easy. There is no need for bottle sterilization, dosage estimation, heating, or trust issues with unknown artificial milk brands,
4. breastfeeding is cheaper,
5. breastfeeding can be fast. With the knowledge of the right technique you will spent the same time feeding twins as feeding one child. We will go over these techniques in following chapters.

The most important thing when breastfeeding twins is the HOPE

You just need to believe and everything will be fine. You don´t have to be afraid that you might not have enough of the milk, breastfeeding is the matter of offer and demand, the more children will consume the more milk will be produced in the breast. The important things for mums are the proper time of eating, proper rest, no stress environment and following of systematic order.

Proper breastfeeding technique

Mum should take the breast between the thumb and other fingers and put the nipple to the child's mouth and with slow circular movements try to invoke the sucking reflex. Widely open child mouth as if yawning are the proper response to this stimulation. Any touch in the facial area and mainly around mouth provoke this reflex in babies 3 months and younger. Baby is turning it's head from side to side and opens the mouth widely. When we circle the baby's mouth with the nipple we help to find the mouth it's place. If the baby is opening the mouth as in yawning we swiftly put the nipple and big part of lower areola in it's mouth. The nipple inside of the child's mouth touches the upper palate with the sensing point that invokes sucking reflex.

Frequent breastfeeding

The sensitivity of the nipples will lower thanks to the frequent breastfeeding which will positively stimulate the milk production

Breastfeed together or separately?

When breastfeeding together it creates a strong stimuli for the milk production. What is not such an easy task is to coordinate the same time of the breastfeeding. Generally is better to breastfeed both twins together.

Which breast?

The best situation is when each child has it's own breast because the milk will adapt to it's unique requirements and produces the substances in the right amount and composition that the child needs. If ont of the child is weaker (smaller) it is good to change the breast, because this child will most probably not have sucking reflex strong enough and with breast changing is possible to stimulate both breast sufficiently.

Breastfeeding child positioning

This position is dificult but possible. It is rather used for babies distraction, when they do not want to suck the milk. It is used very rarely.

Football player position (the most popular)

Tandem position

Cross position

Breastfeeding cessation

Based on your own decision you can breastfeed your children for several months or longer then a year. If you will even after repeated countermeasures loose milk you can decide to end the breastfeeding and still be happy that you have provided the best out of you for your children.

Alternative ways of breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is still prevailing way of feeding. It is supplemental feeding, when breastfeeding is not sufficient. The best is to use these methods until the time the baby is 6 month old or until it is the right time for first supplemental feeding using solid food. Good practise to breastfeed properly, the child should never be fed from the bottle. Sucking from the bottle and breast are different, the child learns to suck two different ways, which is confusing for them, and soon begins to prefer the bottle from which is easier to drink.

For premature infants the alternative ways of breastfeeding are particularly preferred, because it helps the fat metabolism in oral cavity. Another advantage of this is that it requires an active tongue movement, which is so important for successful breastfeeding.

Syringe

• More suitable for smaller amount of complementary foods (about 40 ml)
• Suitable for the child actively trying to suck and pull the plunger itself (otherwise the milk slowly spray, but never let the milk just slowly flow into the mouth)
• The child should have head higher than the body, also for better swallowing

Dropper, dispenser

• Suitable for small complementary foods (about 20, 30 ml)
• The child´s head is pressed gently down to his chin and his chest, afterwards the dropper is put into the child's mouth

Syringe using finger

• By inserting a clean finger into the child´s mouth and touching upper palate the sucking reflex will be provoked               
• Suitable for small and bigger complementary food (about 60 ml)
• Suitable for shorter period of time (week or two)
• Suitable for regular use (approximately three times a day)

Syringe with catheter

• The finger is put into the child mouth with the small tubule, which is laid on the top or besides the finger.
• It is ideal to use catheter for feeding newborns (you can find it in health accessory shops or in nurseries and hospitals. The price is about 0,5GBP per piece)
• Suitable for smaller and bigger complementary foods (about 80 ml)
• For regular use, several times a day, more than three weeks (if the situation even after this long time doesn´t change, it is necessary to look for some different alternative ways

Feeding beaker, mug

·         

• We touch the upper lip with tilted beaker. Reaction to this stimuli is the tongue protrusion and its twist to the shape of a cup which helps the child to reach the milk from the beaker
• This technique is very suitable for children from the age of 30 weeks of gestational age.
• Beaker feeding is very appropriate for children with split lip and palate, if breastfeeding is not possible.
• Feeding beaker is well received by children with impaired coordination of sucking and swallowing by supporting factors necessary for coordination of sucking and swallowing (movements of the tongue, lips, tone, speed muscle movements).
• Can be combined with a gastric tubule.

Feeding using suplementor

• Main advantage, the child still sucks from the breast using the catheter and thus stimulates the milk production.
• This is also very suitable procedure for extended use (with strict procedure, can achieve full lactation)

Suplementor

Suplementor is a tool designed for nursing mothers to alternatively feed complementary foods to the children using own breast milk from stored breast reserve.

This method provides an alternative complementary foods and the child receives milk from the bottle hanging on the neck of the mother while breastfeeding.

What suplementor consist of?

Suplementor consists of two bottles for supplementary food and two small tubes. Whole suplementor is sold and it´s use is easy.

Process:

Child will attach to the breast and to the catheter, which runs along mother’s breast and nipple. The better the baby attaches to both the easier the supplementor is used. The better attachment method you use the sooner child won´t need the supplementor feeding. That’s why the child attachment procedure is a key process in a supplementor feeding.

Catheter doesn´t necessarily needs to be placed to the end of the nipple but to make it work properly it is necessary for the catheter to come up to the child´s gums. It seems that this technique works better when you put the catheter to one of the edges of child´s mouth and comes up to the mouth right above the tongue in the direction of the child palate.  

Sometimes it helps when mother holds the catheter in one place using the index finger because some of the children tend to squeeze out the catheter with their tongue.

The bottle with the supplementary food should be higher than the child´s head. If the suppplementor works only when the bottle is held above the child´s head there is something wrong.

Supplementor should be used in every feeding during night or day.

It is possible to stick the catheters to the breast if the mother wishes to do so.

If everything is all right the baby drinks the necessary amount of mil from supplementor in 15-20 minutes or less.

Put the baby to the breast and watch out if it drinks effectively. Let him to be attached for as long as it want´s. Repeat the whole process on the second breast as well. Baby can be put to one breast and then the other.

Putting baby off the supplementor can take several weeks (2-8) or just a few days. Don’t lose the patience and don´t rush it.

First shoes

When does the child need his first shoes?

Even that markets are trying to persuade us with a big selection of lovely, colourful shoes for babies, it is absolutely not necessary for children up to the age of one year to have any shoes at all. Generally speaking: Until the baby is walking by itself and running outside, it doesn´t need to have shoes.  If we make such a mistake and put on shoes at the time the baby is not ready for it, we can cause a lot of problems in their future – first of all, ill shaped feet,  flat – feet, problems with knees and hip joints, abnormal finger position or buckling in, on the top of these issues also back related issues.

The best way is to let the child walk  without any shoes. Such natural walking, strengthen bones and exercise feet muscles, maintain strong and flexible tendons and ligaments and also works as prevention against flat feet. 

In this stage, shoes, preferably slippers have just a protective function.  The shoes protects the child against the cold, dampness and injury.  When you find shoes which matches your requirements and fit the child´s feet, you should buy two of them, because child´s feet gets sweaty very easily and which makes great opportunity for bacteria and mould to grow inside the shoe.

If you have a cold ground or just want the baby to use the slippers for walking at home, think about slip sole, comfort, space, but not much, it should just fit the child´s feet and especially don´t forget to alternate it with slip sole socks. Slippers which are just the best as a first shoes are for example these:

When buing shoes for proper walking, there are few things you should keep in mind:

• Toe shoe should be round (as the child´s foot needs space to spread the fingers enough)

• Ideal size of the shoe is 1 to 1,5cm bigger that the child´s feet in width and length

• Big mistake is to buy one size bigger shoe, because the size is increased both in width and height

• You should check the child´s shoes every month, because their feet grow very quickly and they can be too small for them, before you even know it, which can cause a lot of deformations as mentioned before.

• Shoes should have a little heel on it's whole bottom side because child´s feet are very sensible, way more than our own feet. Thus they can feel every stone they step on so they need bigger feet protection.

• Never buy shoes on the internet, metrics of every shop and manufacturer are different and every child has an individual feet shape, so you definitely need to try it on first if it fits properly.

• Another very important point is the feet hygiene – cutting the nails, wearing cotton socks, etc.

• Always measure size of the feet when the child is standing. These days quite modern technology of 3D scanners can be used to measure the feet size with a very high precision   followed by the advice you can see on the device screen which size to buy.

• We shouldn´t forget to measure sizes of instep and feet itself as they can cause the feet deformations.

• Good and quality child shoes also have following properties:

    ◦ Softness

    ◦ Very light

    ◦ Material, which is able to absorb the dampnes well

    ◦ Leather

    ◦ Airy

    ◦ Good bending properties

    ◦ Special isolation material to soften feet impact on the ground

Games, for feet arch support exercise

It is very helpful to play special games with the children that are intended to support it's feet arch structure.

• Picking up stone or some other object: the child is suppose to pick up the little stone by his foot and walk around the room. If it is successful the stone can be passed from one foot to the other.

• Drawing with the feet: we can use crayons and let the child colour with it or just create usual footprints.

• Walking on tiptoe

• Swinging from tip to heel

Questions  

Do you know why infant have a flat feet?

Because the inner part of the foot sole is filled with fat pad that disappears after the second year of life. 

Did you notice that even when the child is outside during winter wearing quality shoes and warm socks on drawers it still has a cold feet? Why? Do you know the answer to that?

• The answer is that child doesn't need thick and warm sock into it's shoe, because that only takes the heat from the feet and it prevents the blood from flowing and heating the feet.

???

How much sodium is a healthy amount for a young baby?

Did you even know that you should be watching the amount of sodium your baby takes each day? It is very important, so important that if you cross a healthy limit for the day you can put the child in a life threatening situation.

Why is it so important to watch it for our babies…simply put, because their kidneys are not like ours and they are not able to regulate the amount of sodium inside of the body. That´s why using bigger amount of sodium can damage their kidneys. Even 1g of salt on 1kg of baby weight can be life threatening for the newborn.

Cooked solid food shouldn’t contain any salt at all. Older babies can get some food, which contain a little salt (rolls, cheese), but they shouldn´t eat salty rolls, salt cheese, smoked meat or pickles, all the products mentioned above contains a lot of salt. (In fact even when the babies are breastfed, mother´s milk contains some amount of sodium as well. That is fine as it is just a healthy amount for the baby, but we should keep it on mind and count with it)

Also don´t forget when your baby is taking some food supplement, you should add it to the daily amount of allowed sodium. Lot of babies take Nutrition product (because of the reflux problems) and it is very important to know that this product contain some sodium as well. It is advisable to verify the baby water you can buy at shop for sodium amount as well, this shouldn´t exceed the limit of 20mg per 1 litre.

Recommended daily amount of sodium

Age                                             Recommended daily amount

0 – 6 month                                 120 to 242mg

7 – 12 month                               334mg

1 – 3 years                                  500mg

4 – 6 years                                  700mg

7 – 10 years                                1200mg

11- 14 years                               1600mg

Mineral water which contains 200mg of sodium per 1 litre are not appropriate. Pregnant and feeding women should look out for these limits. This limit will help to prevent from swelling and high pressure.

Sodium intake in England is 2 - 3 times higher than our organism needs and can use.

About me

As the most important start I find to explain why I started to write my own blog. The answer is very simple – I want to give my whole life to children. With children I work intensively for over 7 years. I had the opportunity to realize that looking after children is not that easy as it could look…definitely not in the case you want to do your job responsibly and with all the following consequences. That was maybe the fact which motivates me the most on this journey and helped me to decide about my mission. I love the fact that every child is so original and amazing by itself, covered into the secret shell with their pure innocence - childhood.

Flynn

For this story I will go back to Ireland. I looked after three boys there. The youngest one was just two and half year old. And this young boy gave me many reasons to think…

One day we played with Flynn as usually. Flynn was very calm and curious boy. We discovered everything we possibly could about his lovely toys. Then I would usually sit and watch Flynn how he plays by himself. (I think that it is very important when the child is able to play on his own as well. Child fantasy is amazing and it is a shame to compartmentalize it from our adult´s world – the child itself can play differently, significantly more fully than we can offer them, we should be more in position of stimulating them when needed and lead them as best we can to keep them in their world for as long as we are able to. And so I adored Flynn for playing so nicely with his trains.

When He looked up to me, I told him: „Flynn you are such a good boy, playing so nicely with your toys“. He smiled and answered: „I also know, how to watch TV nicely.“

At that moment I realized that our children will be that happy as we let them to be. In following days I observed the family routine to see where was that sacred sentence coming from and it didn´t take long to find it out.

Flynn´s mum was a perfectionist, so most of the days she was trying to get rid of some dirt on her fridge, dishwasher, ground, etc. But this dirt weren´t even here, she was just hallucinating, but the dirt which were starting to show up was the one on Flynn´s heart, but she didn´t notice them. Very simply put, at the time mum was cleaning (it was for most of the day), Flynn was left to be occupied with his TV, because that way mum was sure she gets enough of a space to do her business.

And my question is: „Was that child happy?“ Only because his mum felt more responsible for sparkling ground then the quality time for her own child, he was left with this media box. As a consequences of that were two things – after few weeks Flynn didn´t know how to play anymore (so he lost something what belongs to the level of his development and stage of his life and what is so special just for this age) and began to be very restless and was calling for his only fun – television more often.

Even when brothers came home from school, he was still more often calling for his best friend – television. And what is the result of it – you judge yourself.

John, the Cottager

I accidentally started to look after John, when his mum needed to look after him and knew where he is going to be happy. John was at my house for the whole days until night, so we had a lot of time for doing a lot of cheeky stuff together. Of course he loved it. But it wasn´t only about it, it was about mutual understanding as well.

He was just a great little fellow. When we went outside to see the sheep’s, he was running towards them and couldn´t understand why they are not playing with him the way he would like. With chickens he tried to lay eggs, he was pulling the rabbits ears and just knew what to do with anything he found. From this little age he was just a great Cottager.  (He was 22 month old)

Knowledge which I gained from looking after John is somehow a pointing key. At the time of looking after John, he was being potty trained. It was a summer and I was sitting with his mother on a garden, when John started to feel the urge to go to the toilet. He told his mum, and took off his pants. He was trying to push himself to the front as hard as he could to do it properly. He exercised like this for about two minutes, when all the sudden something came up, but from the back.. And of course all into the pants. (For me it was a funny situation, and I would have appreciate the fact that he was trying) but his mother didn´t think so she reproached him and left him like this for a good few minutes. During that time she was screaming and being really annoyed. When she finally left for clean clothes, John looked at me, smiled, looked at his excrement and clapped his hands as he couldn´t understand what is wrong – he tried, right? After a week I looked after John again. Mum told me: „You know, we have a problem with the toilet, John doesn´t want to make a poo, we even visited the doctor as he wouldn’t ´t go for a week.“

I knew exactly where it is coming from. I saw how the lack of the knowledge, impatience, insensitivity, and unnecessary demands of the parents can cause such an immense consequence on their children. I tried to help John as much as I could, but it wasn´t easy at that new point anymore. When you already pour out the basket of a pure, child freedom, it is very hard to pick it up again.

Baby David

Baby David was a little sunshine. He was a very good boy for being only four months old and he was quite big too. When we measured him, we found out that he actually has a weight and height of six month old baby. David was too little for me being able to take some dizzying suggestion. I have only realized that all parents are different. David´s parents were very meticulous about his baby boy, and even that he was already their second child. They were very fussy about his feeding, clothing, etc., but also about his very silent crying. They suggested that he has some problems with his colom and dad often used the special proximal tubule for helping the intestines to move. (At that time I saw it for the first time ever)

But the question was if he was really crying because of it.

Once we had a barbecue on the garden and some friends with three children came over. The youngest child had just eight months. At that time I could see that everybody has different rules. This family for example didn´t agree on using the proximal tubule for intestines, when the child had a problem with it, because they said it should be a natural process, but they thought that special technique, called „flying babies“ help the same or even better and not only with these problems. (“Flying babies” is a technique, where we really fly with our children, for example we hold them on their leg and circle them around our head))

I had a long discussion with a dad of these three children, he also showed me how he uses this method with his kids, and I can say only that his middle son, who was used to that technique from the time he was a tiny baby, seemed to be very happy and enjoyed that moment with his dad and wanted him to fly over and over again) His dad told me that he thinks that technique helped all of his children with child colic and development of their musculoskeletal system)

It is hard to say what is correct and what is not, and if we should interfere into the natural development, but because we have these options, because of the technology and new knowledge I would probably take the middle road. And the intuition of the parents is always the most correct. So, mums, dads, do what your heart tells you to do…

Patrick

Baby Patrick was the most happy and good child I have ever looked after. That was just his personality to be calm and as you
say happy chappy.
(Even his parents, when I asked them when they are going to have another child very quickly answered: „ Not a chance, we
know well that we would never have another such a good child, so we will not risk it“)
Patrick was from Ireland, so we enjoyed our walks in a lovely nature full of cows and the greenest grass you could see, listen
to lovely Irish music whilst drinking Guinness. (Well that is not entirely true, Patrick drunk a lot, but of his lovely milk, and I
gave my priority to the juices and that king of stuff, so we really didn’t stick to this Irish national tradition)
With Patrick I reassured myself that Angels do exist. I just don´t know, how long will it keep up with him. I wish him and his
family the longest time possible with this golden child.

Baby Matthew

Just to be with this two week old baby was a fabulous opportunity and the most amazing feeling. It felt like being in a fairy
tale. It was just something indescribable.
Having the chance to look into the eyes of such a little child is special and moving at the same time. It is like a big well,
where you can find drops of vulnerability, trust, purity with artlessness, as well as immeasurable hope in a chance of a
satisfied and loving life.

Paula

Paula is just four years old, but even though…her talking skills are better than for some women in their forties.

She is not going to be lost in this world, her face expression and her acting skills are surely the prove of it.

What I like about Paula the most is that she is able to play by herself very nicely that doesn’t go for all the other children. She imitated what she saw from her parents and people close to her and used it at her little plays. The children are the best mirror of ourselves, it is just enough to watch them carefully.